Small Talks: Start Talking

Think kids won’t listen? Think again. Research shows that parents and other caring adults are the most powerful influence on choices kids make about underage drinking. That means you can make a real difference, especially if you start early. Don’t worry; it’s easier than you may think. We can show you how, with helpful suggestions for tackling tough questions and ideas for getting the conversations started.

What is a small talk?

Small talks are short, casual conversations that help adults connect with kids on the important stuff, like underage drinking. Having lots of small talks over time helps build trust and set expectations as kids change and grow. Luckily, there’s no big production necessary. Just choose the moment that feels right to you. You can have a small talk anytime, anywhere.

What to say along the way

Start a small talk with one or two simple questions.

Children (Ages 5-7)

They’re curious about their bodies. Focus on the way alcohol affects a person’s motor skills, judgment, and behavior. Try asking:

  • “When do you think someone is ready to try alcohol?”
  • “Why do you think it's illegal for kids under the age of 21 to drink alcohol?”

Tweens (Ages 8-12)

Tweens are into their friends and unusual facts. Explain how underage drinking can put kids their age in danger, and practice how to deal with peer pressure. Spark conversation by asking:

  • “Have you ever seen an adult drink too much? What did you think or feel?”
  • “What could you say if you were offered a drink and you didn't want to look foolish?”

Teens (Ages 13-17)

They’re growing independent, so help them find good reasons to wait. Talk about the risks, their future, and making safe choices. Get them talking with:

  • “What happens at parties you go to?”
  • “Are you at all worried about becoming addicted to alcohol or drugs?”

Answering difficult questions

Small talks are easy to start. But once the conversation gets going, you may face some tough questions. The good news? That’s a great sign. Questions mean the kid is engaged and your talk is on the right track. Want to build your confidence? Take a look at the thorny questions and straightforward answers (suggested by real experts) below.

How to help kids when they're on their own

You can't control a kid when their out of your sight. But you can help them become a person who has good values and good judgment. You can’t always prevent a kid from being offered alcohol, but you can help them be prepared if it occurs. Giving kids the tools to handle peer pressure is one of the most important things you can do to help them make healthy choices and stay alcohol-free.

Helpful resources

Have a stress-free small talk. Our downloadable handouts offer practical, proven advice to help you feel more prepared.

Talk tips

Screen shot of the Small Talks talk tips document

Have a successful small talk.
Download the tip sheet (PDF)

Question guide

Screen shot of Small Talks tough questions document

Get ready for tough questions.
Download the guide (PDF)

Learn more strategies to prevent underage drinking at the 2025 Wisconsin Substance Use Prevention Conference September 10-11 in the Wisconsin Dells or online. See the agenda for this event and register today.

Get tips from real Wisconsin talkers

Learn how caring adults worked through their stage fright, got prepared, and started having successful small talks about alcohol with the kids in their lives.

Hear from caregivers and others who have talked with kids about alcohol

Last revised May 30, 2025