Domestic Violence Prevention: Real Love is Respect
Healthy relationships are built on respect—not power and control. Real love respects choices, boundaries, relationships with others, and the right to be yourself. But sometimes it can be hard to know if your relationship is healthy or not.
There are many terms to describe violence and abuse that occurs in romantic relationships, including domestic violence, intimate partner violence, relationship abuse, and dating violence. These terms are often confusing and can have similar, overlapping, or even conflicting definitions. The terms all describe relationships with abuse and violence in intimate or romantic relationships, including family members, parents, children, sibling, and pets.
Domestic violence happens when one person uses behaviors to gain power and control over another. It is not always physical, and can include:
- Threats.
- Intimidation.
- Controlling money.
- Monitoring a phone or location.
- Isolating someone from friends and family.
- Sexual pressure.
- Emotional abuse.
- Stalking.
- Physical violence.
Control is not care. Fear is not respect. Real love is respect.
What does respect look like?
Healthy relationships allow both people to have a voice. Respect means being able to make your own choices, set boundaries, spend time with others, have privacy, express your feelings, and disagree without being threatened, controlled, or afraid.
Real love shares power. It doesn't use power to control.
Find support
We stand with victims and survivors of violence and abuse. In Wisconsin, we are focused on preventing domestic violence and supporting those who experience it. Find resources and additional information below.
Need help now?
Call, text, or chat with the National Domestic Violence Hotline. Available in more than 140 languages via interpreter, the hotline can be reached through text, call, and live chat:
- Call the hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or text "START" to 88788.
- Visit the website to find resources or use live chat.
Find resources for yourself or someone else
Abuse is not always easy to recognize. Help is available throughout Wisconsin, including connections to local safety planning, shelter, counseling, and other resources.
Become a healthy partner
Have you tried to control where your partner goes, who they see, what they spend, or what they do? Do you check their phone or location? Do you use jealousy, anger, threats, or intimidation to get your way? Does your partner seem afraid of how you might react? These behaviors are not signs of love.
Real respect means respecting your partner's choices and taking responsibility of your own.
If you're concerned about your behavior, help is available. Healthy communication, emotional regulation, and nonviolent conflict resolution are skills that can be learned.
Additional resources
The National Domestic Violence Hotline has additional information on recognizing problem behaviors on their website.
Alma Center works to heal, transform, and evolve the unresolved pain of trauma that fuels the continuation of cycles of violence, abuse, and dysfunction in families and community. They work primarily with people at-risk or involved in the criminal justice system, with a particular focus on people who have a history of domestic violence. Alma Center programs are available to Wisconsinites across the state.
Visit the Alma Center website or call 414-265-0100.
Prevention
To prevent domestic violence, it’s important to understand what contributes to violence in relationships and ensure that safe and healthy relationships are the norm. As a community, we can prevent domestic violence by using these public health approaches by:
- Strengthening economic supports for children and families.
- Promoting housing programs.
- Providing comprehensive sexual health education.
- Connecting youth with positive adults and peers
- Supporting family workplace policies.
- Implementing family engagement, relationship, and enrichment programs.
- Teaching anger management and emotional regulation skills.
- Building social-emotional skills for youth such as developing empathy and establishing positive relationships with others.
- Fostering communication skills.
- Advancing non-violent problem-solving and conflict resolution skills.
- Promoting beliefs and practices that support equal rights, responsibilities, and opportunities for all people and genders.
Risk factors
The following risk factors may increase someone's risk of engaging in domestic violence:
- Alcohol and drug use.
- Decreased acceptance of gender equality.
- Engaging with anti-social peers.
- Attitudes accepting or justifying violence and aggression.
- Anger or bitterness.
- Hostility towards women.
Social isolation from family, friends, or peers, as well as financial status or unstable housing are factors that may increase someone's risk of experiencing domestic violence.
The following populations experience significantly higher rates of domestic violence:
- People living with disabilities.
- Young people.
- People who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, or other sexual identities.
- Black and Indigenous communities and people of color.
- Pregnant people.
Data and impact
Domestic violence can happen to anyone, and its effects can be long-lasting. Take a look at domestic violence in Wisconsin and how it affects certain populations.
- In 2024, intimate partner violence was involved in at least 22.9% of homicides in Wisconsin.
- In 2024, intimate partner violence was involved in at least 53.7% of homicides of women in Wisconsin.
Data comes from the Wisconsin Violent Death Reporting System.
Domestic violence can often escalate during pregnancy, placing pregnant people at increased risk.
- 2.3% of pregnant women and people experience physical violence by a current or former spouse or partner in Wisconsin.
- 58.4% of pregnant women and people who experience physical violence from a current or former partner in the year before pregnancy also experience physical violence during pregnancy.
Data comes from the Pregnancy Risk Monitoring System.
Domestic violence can occur among young people, too. When domestic violence occurs among young people, it’s called teen dating violence. According to data from the 2023 Youth Risk Behavior survey:
- 10.5% of Wisconsin high school students have experienced physical dating violence
- 12.7% of students have experienced sexual dating violence.
- More than two times as many female high school students have experienced sexual dating violence (18.0%) as male high school students (6.9%).
Teens and young adults can find tips related to personal safety, healthy relationships, and supporting others on the Love is Respect website.
Domestic violence can result in long-lasting mental, physical, and emotional health outcomes. Experiencing domestic violence increases the risk of mental health challenges like depression and post-traumatic stress disorder. Domestic violence can also result in chronic health conditions affecting different parts of the body, including the digestive, reproductive, muscular, and nervous systems.
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Funding statement
This work is supported by funds made available from the CDC (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention) of the HHS (U.S. Department of Health and Human Services), Public Health Infrastructure Center, through PW26-2600: Preventive Health and Health Services Block Grant – 2026. The contents are those of the author(s) and do not necessarily represent the official views of, nor an endorsement, by CDC/HHS, or the U.S. Government.